Out of sheer boredom (due to my sudden change of plans yesterday),I took the Orthodoxy Test that appears to be the current fad on blogs.I finally realized why I never seemed to fit in,in yeshivas and shuls I attended over the course of my short yet distinguished career as an Orthodox Jew.Turns out,I'm Huh!I'm not sure exactly what religious obligations this entails but at least until somebody thinks to capitalize on this new unspoken for sect of Judaism, there will be no dinners, parlor meetings,or membership dues.I'm actually relieved not to be stuck into one specific category,as there is no one specific category that I believe has all the answers.This is actually something I have prided myself on since I broke out of the mold,society tries to cram all unsuspecting youngsters into.I try learning from individuals I believed to be worthy,regardless of their religious affiliation,whether they promoted full day kollel for everybody or they God forbid said a prayer for the President and Israeli soldiers on shabbos.
Labeling people,is,I think,a large contributing factor in teens,children,and even adults abandoning Judaism.I know the test was only meant as something cute to occupy your time/mind and a potential conversation or blog starter,but what it represents is complete unadulterated evil.Why the hell would somebody,who for whatever reason doesn't fit into any molds or labels that Orthodox society in their ignorance and stupidity created, stay frum?You're not yeshivash,because....,you're not modern because......,on and on until there are no more labels for you to fit into until one day you had enough of being society's outcast and decide F*ck it I'll join a society where I can be valued as a person and not a label.The curious lack of any reference to labels in the Torah can be attributed to the fact that God,when he invented this trip intended it as a religion and not a filing cabinet of labels,but things veered way off course.This is a whole new topic which also bothers me and I will hopefully address it some other time.
While on the website,after my religious affiliation was determined,I took another test (I was still bored).I found out today that I am pretty cool,alas,not outrageously so.Oh well,I'm still relatively young and there is still time to become outrageously cool,should the need ever arise.
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To all those who feel excluded from the various brand names of Judaism, I extend an open invitation to my new sect called "modern chasidish" or MC for short. It's based on the principles of ancient chasidus without the BS and bad PR the current chasidim have. Anyone is invited as long as they can adhere to our fundamental beliefs and principles. We believe there is one God who created and runs the world with a master plan that we can't figure out for the life of ours. We will always attempt to serve God to the best of our abilities. Should we fail to serve God in any way shape or form, we will get up, dust ourselves off and try again. We will not let a failure in life define who we are or in what direction our life is headed. Nor will we let others define who we are and in what direction our life is headed. We will wear what we damn please as long as it conforms to the laws of proper dress handed down to us by our sages regardless of what color it is, or what some current day lunatic with a beard and hat decided is the current Jewish uniform. We will live and let live, if that concept is too difficult to understand, we simply won't let live. And finally, upon joining, every member will be asked to make a pledge that they will attempt to the best of their abilities not to act like an asshole. By making and keeping this pledge we will separate ourselves from the rest of the rat pack.
Unlike some other sects, there is no fee to join. Just read, agree, and pledge. There, you're a full fledged member.
How does it feel to finally belong?
Mine new sect is easier.
first you have to be yourself. 2nd you have to believe in hashem and the torah (biksav and ba'al peh). third you need to understand that we only want you to serve g-d in your own way, in accordance with halacha. 4rth get up shake off the dust, when you fall. 5th be understanding of other ways of serving g-d.
Mine is better because I dont have anyone pledging anything.
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