Monday, February 2, 2009

Sex-Ed In Beis Yaakov

For some reason Jewish schools have an aversion to preparing its students for the real world.I think that needs to be changed.I understand the difficulty in making too many changes simultaneously so I would like to suggest one change I believe to be of importance,to start with.Sex-Ed.Now before all the "frummies"get uptight and defensive,let me clarify.I am not referring to the'birds and the bees' as I believe most people are already familiar with that.I am referring instead to educating Yeshivah and Beis Yaakov students about interactions with members of the opposite sex.I am aware this is something the powers that be want to avoid for the simple reason that if they know how to interact,they will,something we want to avoid at all costs.Realistically we know there are times interacting cannot be avoided even for the most 'yeshivash'and'frum' is it worth them not knowing how to go about it?

Dating is a strong argument for my idea.People(usually the girls)constantly complain that the person they were set up with were ill equipped to talking to them and lacked the most basic etiquette (okay I admit this is lacking even during interaction with members of their own sex,maybe that will be my next project).Even the most frum boy or girl dates,shouldn't they be prepared?

This brings to mind a girl I used to know.She went to regular Beis Yaakovs and was a fairly frum girl although a little rebellious.Because of her rebellion and also due to the fact that she believed herself to be more with it and cool than she actually was,she occasionally drank and at times hung out with guys.This is always a dangerous combination but especially so for someone not familiar with the opposite sex.Countless times she called me to complain or to pick her up because she let some guy buy her drinks and she flirted and spoke to him for hours all the while him thinking he was going to get lucky tonight and getting pissed when she had enough and got up and left.I would explain to her how the mind of a horny male worked but she never seemed to understand.Countless awkward and mildly dangerous situations could have been avoided if she only would have learned in school that there is only one thing guys want and how to talk to them without them thinking they are going to get it.This is a bit different than the previous example but I think of equal importance.Should one argue and say we discourage flirting so why should we prepare for such scenarios I bring to your attention all the girls who were ever pulled over for speeding,how many tried flirting with the cop in the hopes of being let off easy?If the girls would know what they consider harmless talking may very well be in the cops eyes something entirely different,they might cool it or at least be prepared if he says something they deem inappropriate.

1 comment:

smoo said...

Dude, you're on the money (not relating this to previous Protocols post).
It's even worse when the each side is taught that the other is so treif that they can't talk, sit next too each other, divide the bus in half etc. The aversion and especially the sexual aversion brings a total disconnect between natural human emotions/needs and our cultural mindset. So women don't have a clue how to satisfy their husband and find even permissible sex to be offensive. (I have dated some of these people).
But as you said even sex aside, BOTH genders need to relate to each other better. That starts off with working out those social kinks in jr and high school. Not when it's tachlis time.

Keep the faith!