Dvaar Torah

In today’s post I would like to share a dvaar torah. Who would have thought? Ironically it’s not directly related to what I’m assuming is this weeks parsha (Pinchos?) but it has to do with protesting, something this parsha begins with when it tells us of Pinchos’ reaction to the sexual revolution that was a prototype for the summer of love that was taking place at the time. To give credit where it is due, I originally heard this from Karma Dude an occasional commenter and a staunch behind the scenes supporter of this blog. – in one of the parshas close to the beginning (it would have been nice if I would know which one) we read about Rivka being told she was expecting twins after noticing the incongruity of the baby kicking when she passed both a house of worship to God and a house of worship to idolatry. One could wonder why her internal ruckus couldn’t be more simply explained as a single fetus who kicks to be let out by the house of God and kicks in protest when passing idolatry? The Kotzker Rebbe, the Yogi Berra of Judaism (not so much for his ball playing but much like Yogi all quips, quotes and sayings of unknown origin are attributed to him) allegedly explains, someone who is really learning torah and trying to serve God in the ultimate way is not the same guy who is busy protesting everything he believes to be an affront to his, Judaism, or Gods, honor. Like I said I’m not sure whether this was really said by the Kotzker Rebbe or some bitter soul with a bone to pick, regardless I think it’s something worth thinking about especially in contrast with Pinchos. He felt there was an affront to God going on so he picked up his spear and lynched the guy, he didn’t have meetings, he didn’t burn dumpsters, he didn’t throw bottles or rocks he saw something that needed to be done and did it. I believe that is the correct way to protest for someone who is truly concerned with God’s “feelings” not to kick when you walk by a place of idolatry but if it bothers you to actually do something. Furthermore I believe that not only is protesting the wrong way to go about getting your point across I do not believe that this is better in the eyes of God. I know Jerusalem is holy and we want to avoid chillul shabbos but do people really think God is happier if instead of a parking lot being open on shabbos there is a weekly massive public chillul hashem? (and what’s up with those pics of burning dumpsters, seriously you’re protesting chillul shabbos with chilul shabbos?) I don’t know if people recall but a few years ago during the first gay pride parade in Israel there was a young kollel guy there who stabbed a few marchers, at the time most people said he was insane but I think he acted correctly, much like Pinchos, if you really believe something to be wrong do something rather than make a pointless chaotic protest that eventually leads to a much larger affront to God’s honor than the thing you are protesting. I suspect that I am wrong though and all the protests the Jewish nation has ever taken part in have nothing to do with the defense of God rather they are merely an outlet for excess energy, boredom and the anarchism that lay buried deep inside all of us.

Support Groups And Me

The theory that misery loves company is just that-a theory. I don’t believe it’s a proven fact. Yet I wonder if that’s the idea that gave birth to support groups. If misery loves company, let’s get all the miserable people together and…. what? What is supposed to happen now? Are they less miserable because they found a fellow crack baby with a speech impediment who survives by prostituting themselves and was recently diagnosed with cancer, to drink coffee and chat with? I would like to believe it’s a bit more than that but I have no idea. The reason this topic is presently foremost in my brain is because someone recently tried drafting me into a support group or more accurately a support friendship since it would have been only the two of us. Those few people who are kind enough to occasionally read my blog know I have/had a brain tumor and was in Boston undergoing Proton Beam Radiation in February/March, while we were looking in to the different treatment options available a friend of a friend spoke to their cousin about a different type of radiation that he had undergone, thus introducing to this guy I don’t know and if I randomly met him wouldn’t necessarily want to know, the notion that we are comrades of sorts. Of course as my luck would have it six months later he followed up on our imaginary ‘been there done that’ friendship. After delaying and pushing him off as long as possible without a restraining order, I agreed to meet him, not knowing exactly what the hell he wanted. Turns out he only wanted to talk. Maybe it’s because I’m not in touch with my emotions (is depression an emotion? Because I’m definitely in touch with that most of the time)maybe it’s because it takes me a long time to feel comfortable with new people, maybe it’s just because talking is not my forte, but those couple of hours were of no physiological benefit to me though I did have a short moment of feeling all warm and fuzzy inside that comes from being helpful on account of he seemed to really benefit, which makes me wonder if there really is some benefit that much like all other good things in life, just seem to pass me by. Maybe that’s what I’m missing in life. Does anybody have any positive experiences with the numerous support groups available for the various real and imagined ailments and mental conditions? Or negative? This could be what is holding back that feeling of happiness that has been eluding me all my life, maybe I should start my own online support group, any one care to join?

Twitter

Somebody showed me this recently.i have actually never checked out the Twitter craze but from the impression i get it seems appropriate.

Independance Day?

Happy almost July 4th to all those who think this date still holds any significance. Taxes , that’s all this Godforsaken country boils down to. That’s the basis upon which this alleged democracy was started on. And that is what is destroying it today. My original intention was to write about the journey of a hundred dollars. How they cut a chunk right off the bat for income tax, if you’re in the habit of occasionally eating and are not an exhibitionist or even if you want a new DVD, cell phone or digital camera to document the flight patterns of UFOs you shop for it and as rumor has it some people even go so far as to pay for it. Sales tax, another large chunk of your measly paycheck down the drain. Of course the vendor now pays income tax on this money and sales tax again since he obviously believes in capitalism and will spend it, when the next vendor will….. I think I see a pattern emerging. At the end of the life of a hundred dollars there is really not much left for a healthy economy to survive never mind to be stimulated. This is what I will not be writing about because as luck would have it I was pretty busy most of the day which is very unlike me and I cannot recall that ever happening before, and therefore didn’t have the time to do the proper exploratory research with which I would impress everyone with numbers, graphs and dancing smiley faces. Instead I will write about taxes. Who would have thought? Taxation without representation, that was the concept that promoted the desire for independence (I would have thought it was the British accent). We now have more taxation than your average hardworking individual can afford to part with. Has anyone noticed an improvement in our representation? The government does not represent us. They represent themselves, their friends, relatives and cronies. Nothing they do benefits the average middle income family. Sure if you’re wealthy they consider you a potential contributor and therefore a friend or crony and are now in the position to reap the rewards that come with knowing someone who has his hands in the public coffers. If you are a lower income family enjoying the free ride sponsored by the majority of the middle class who are afraid to cheat on their taxes you couldn’t be happier with the system mostly because the lack of such a system would force you to get off your butt and get a job. But the middle class, those who don’t own big corporations or businesses, those who never had wealthy ancestors, those who are to straight and honest to con and swindle,those who get up early every morning and work their butts off a whole day for just enough over the minimum wage that they are disqualified from government programs, where does that leave us? Screwed, that’s where. Nobody is here to help you. All the money you ever paid in tax was as beneficial to you as cancer. The first opposing argument one hears regarding this “What about the police? Without them there would be anarchy” Bring it on! I don’t think anybody is still fooled that the police help. They are just as corrupt and harmful as the government. The difference is that besides taxes most people thankfully have no contact with elected government officials, the police department is involved in everybody’s day to day life, wielding their corrupt power and taking advantage of those weaker than them. I for one would rather anarchy. The highway system is another popular argument, is anybody happy with the highway system? Never mind the fact that we pay outrages amounts in tolls which go up every few weeks that are supposedly to support the highways. The point I am trying to make in case it hasn’t yet been made clear is that the whole basis of this country’s existence is to avoid taxation without representation, which we still have. Has everyone who died in the struggle for independence died in vain? It sure seems so. Maybe it’s time we had our own Boston Tea Party, only instead of throwing tea overboard I think we should throw the politicians. Maybe into the toxic waste dump known as the East River where they can sleep with the fish along with likeminded crooks and abusers of mafia lore.This country was shoved deep enough in the crapper by our government it really shouldn’t be a hard sell to any sane individual who works hard for his money.

I'm Back

It took me many years but I finally concede to the point made by John Cougar Melloncamp in his song Jack and Dianne.”Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.” It damn sure does. My thrill of living has been gone since about ten seconds after I came into existence before my life turned into one of hellish misery ...and yet it goes on ...and on. It’s been twenty seven years of waiting for it to be over. Twenty seven years of being passively suicidal. It just won’t end. This leads me to believe that he is correct and life does go on no matter what your opinion is on the matter. Since that is the case I decided to return to blogging. Knowing God and his sense of humor the way I do, I know the depressed miserable people who are all waiting for it all to be over will be the ones who live the longest. So it’s a question of logistics. I will apparently be on this earth for the long haul. I will be bored. Ergo, I’m blogging again. And the timing could not have been better. This is the season of coming forward with stories of abuse and molestation from people in positions of power. It’s now my turn for my very own J'accuse moment. For twenty seven years I have been physically and emotionally abused by God. Is that better than a teacher taking me to a private room and touching me inappropriately? The fact that God is not within firing, suing or harming distance is of no concern to me, that’s not my intention in coming forward. It’s obvious from other people who came forward and the way the Jewish elite and media responded that violence or any other sort repercussion or even action is not the answer. It seems the best method in dealing with these issues is simply having meetings and writing articles about it. For those who are not an hereditary or political elite nor are they part of the Jewish cut and paste media, their contribution to the cause is obviously the very vital mental diarrhea that sprouts forth in the form of comments on every news article about this or related topics. Consider this my first of many posts on this subject. Or the only one. Until further notice or until I die or get bored of talking to myself again, whichever comes second-I’m back, and will as the mood strikes me be blogging live from the cesspool of life.

Shomer Negiah;To Be Or Not To Be

At this point in my blogs existence I'm convinced I spend most of my time talking to myself.Nevertheless I would like to throw a question out there and maybe by some freak occurrence Ill get a few responses.Let me preface it by clarifying, its more of a moral dilemma than a question.What do normal people do when meeting members of the opposite sex?The reason I ask is because as people who occasionally read my blog should know I'm presently in Boston undergoing radiation, that being the case I meet doctors,nurses,technicians, social workers,receptionists, and random people, who as luck would have it are all female.I am not going to begin confessing all past, present, and future sins but suffice it to say I have in the past had physical contact with the opposite sex.For some reason probably having to do with hormones and desire overpowering 'Jewish guilt' you don't tend to put a lot of thought into the fact that you're having illegal contact.In a case such as mine where the contact is not sexual strangely enough I feel more guilty shaking hands every time I meet people. To not shake their hands is weird having to start explaining your whole religious philosophy and doesn't make sense because I have contact with them soon anyways when they help me into the frame and onto the table and (not literally) screw me onto the table. I also have a strange philosophy of trying to avoid making a chillul Hashem, I don't know if a chassidac family seeing me shake a woman's hand in the waiting room (as happened last week)is better or worse than my other seemingly conflicting philosophy of trying to show people that not all religious Jews are stuck up morons (I'm pretty sure that's only a justification in my warped mind) Between my constant fatigue, headaches, and the Vicodin, I am having trouble working this out so if anybody has any input about what I should do or what they normally do, share.

Happy Adar!!

In the Yeshiva I was first in when I came to Israel we had a custom of inebriating ourselves every night of Adar until Purim (it was a b*tch in a year with two Adars).Now that I'm slightly more mature than that and because the various medications I'm on don't mix well with alcohol, I rarely drink anymore.Which is why I would like to suggest an alternative.In honor of Adar and coincidentally a day after the use of medical marijuana was legalized in the New Jersey Senate,I think everyone should crack out their pipes, bowls, bongs, and papers and like Timothy Leary said "Turn on, tune in, and drop out".

Coffee,Muggings and Philosophy

Once, a few years ago during the time I spent wandering around Israel,I found myself in Tel Aviv one night where I was mugged.Kind of.I'm not sure if its still considered a mugging if you never actually give away your money.I ignored them and acted as if I didn't understand what they wanted and kept walking until they gave up on following me.Afterwards on my way back to Jerusalem I thought about what would have happened if I had actually lost all my money and valuables.I would be stuck in a foreign city with no money to pay for transportation back, and probably no cell phone to call someone for help.The only solution I thought of would be to sit in front of the Central Bus Station and tell people my sob story and hopefully get enough money to leave.But you always hear people with all sorts of sob stories why they need money and who ever believes them.

I was reminded of this recently on my way to picking up my afternoon caffeine fix. There was a man outside Dunkin Donuts who claimed his car was towed and needed money to get it from the impound lot.He claimed to be a working man who just didn't have the money on him, the problem was, he looked like a working family man and therefore, believable. I didn't give him any money because I'm a little gullible in these matters and sometimes overcompensate but the whole night I was thinking of him and felt bad for him.That was when I was reminded of my near predicament and put myself in his position and began to really feel bad for him.If only people could have their very own lie detectors

R' Nachman of Breslov fame who contrary to popular belief is more profound than one would think from seeing the dancing speed freaks you see around Israel, once said something interesting. He said its better to be naive and fall for everything than not to believe anything including the truth when it happens upon you.He said it in regard to religion and spirituality but I wonder if it should be applied to the mundane also. It would probably be better to fall for everything even the occasional scam than to once ignore somebody who honestly needs your help.You never know one day it might even be you who receives the help.

Wrong Direction?

When youre really bored and have medication handy to control your blood pressure,I strongly recommend reading the wisdom that sprouts forth from the genetic malfunctios who comment on the jewish news websites (such as yeshivah world and vosizneias).I sincerely hope those people are not reproducing.

Yesterday,while waiting for an appointment my brother showed me a story about this new Kosher GPS theyre coming out with.Somebody whose parents were probebly related before they were married commented "I think the rabonim should get together & show true achdus and ban all other non kosher GPS".Seriously? Its bad enough we have people with minimal halachic knowledga coming out with new inventions (or more accurately,old inventions with a new twist)convincing people this is what God wants, if you dont buy this, its questionable if you can even be considered religious.But people actually fall for this?Do people think this constitutes Judaism?Me,in my innocence and niavety,first thought when I heard this that it only takes you to kosher locations (which I believe would actually be closer to what God wants)but alas no,the function which earns it its kosher status is the mans voice instead of a womans.Not to worry,nobody will have to cut the strip clubs out of their extracurriculaar schedule, now as long as you follow the directions given to you by a mans voice(possibely even in yiddish)God will love you.Is this where we are holding,a womans voice is enough to awaken all our deep,dark urges,our mission in life is to control?So much so that its absence will make a redicoulos product,kosher? Like my brother so beatufuly yet crudely put it,"if youre whacking off to the womans voice on the GPS you have much bigger problems that a kosher GPS cannot solve."

My Wishlist

I know its been a few days since I last posted,but not to worry,I'm not dead yet.As some of you know I'm in the middle of undergoing radiation treatment,its going well,the only problem is, it causes fatigue and I can barely concentrate long enough to bang out a post.Today,during treatment I thought of something I think is pretty interesting.In the spiritual world we know there are all kinds of powers that can either be channeled towards good or for bad ((kabbalistic heebie jeebies and black magic is an example that comes to mind).I thought radiation is a good metaphor for that.Everybody knows radiation causes tumors yet they use it to kill tumors also, it just needs to be used in the right way.
Way back when I was first diagnosed, one of my main symptoms was total loss of vision in one eye and partial in the other.Thank God I got most of it back.In some of my subsequent surgeries,I knew the tumor grew back because I once again lost my vision.This most recent time after I noticed my waning vision I was disappointed,but not for the reason one might think.Since I was a kid I always dreamt of owning a motorcycle,I never thought it was to realistic but it was a nice thing to wish. One of my first thoughts after an MRI confirmed that the tumor was back was that now I will never be able to ride a motorcycle (people usually think I'm deep but I guess deep down I'm pretty shallow)Since my last surgery in the summer, I got most of my vision back once again,and I realized,why wait?If I want a motorcycle bad enough to be upset when I thought I would no longer be able to ride one,I should just get one now while I can still see.At the rate I'm saving my money though it can be a while until I have enough to even buy a tire,so if anybody has extra money and wants to buy me a present,I am not to proud to accept.These are pictures of the motorcycle I want,its called a Victory Hammer.


Once I'm posting things I want but will probably not be able to afford in my lifetime I should also mention the car I intend to buy if I rob a bank.Its a 2009 Dodge Challenger SRT8.Once again, should anybody want to buy me one for any reason I promise not to complain.

Anti Socialism

Here I am back in Boston.Today was my first treatment,for those interested,it went pretty good,thank you for asking.While not technically cancer the treatment is considered cancer treatment (and because of the location and various other aspects it is considered cancerous-for further insight,go to medical school)this qualifies me to stay in a lodge run by the American Cancer Society for outpatients receiving cancer treatments.Its a really nice place,certainly nicer than some of the places Ive stayed during my years in Israel.Its almost as if there is nothing to complain about,but I will not let you down because I found something.Because of everybody there being a cancer patient or caregiver/family of a cancer patient there is a lot of camaraderie,socializing,support and whatever else it is normal people do in social situations.The problem is I am severely anti social.I try not to be rude,which is why last night I was stuck in the communal kitchen hearing about the complete medical history of someone who until a minute ago was a complete stranger(yes, pretty much like I do here on this blog)Most of the time so far I tried staying in my room but I'm bored out of my mind and eventually will have to join the fun,over six weeks of being here I'm going to need to start talking to people.I don't know how I'm going to manage that.I need something to break the ice,so if any of the many readers of this blog can overcome their fear of commenting and know any good ice breakers popular with cancer patients,,or cancer related humor(offensive is also welcome)please tell me.If all else fails I can always pretend I'm deaf.

The Rape of the Taxpayers

For various reasons,most of which pertain to the conservation of my rapidly dwindling sanity,I try to avoid following the news too closely.Today,because of my confinement to a car for five hours(my contribution to global warming-anybody enjoying the unseasonably warm weather were enjoying on the east coast should probably thank me)and for lack of any other forms of entertainment,I listened to the radio.I'm not sure when this took place but I heard today that our very own comrade Messiah gave a speech where he warned all people benefiting from the rape of us taxpayers not to go to Las Vegas to spend the bailout money.Apparently one company (possibly more)decided instead to go to San Fransisco for some sort of getaway they were already planning.Does this not defeat the purpose?Was the point not for the intent purpose of avoiding wasteful spending?Last night for reasons not entirely known to me I found a similar story in which while intending to save money they missed the point and wasted money.....
"United Airlines has the distinction of being the only commercial airline to have operated Executive One, the designation given to a civilian flight on which the U.S. President is aboard. On 26 December 1973, then-President Richard Nixon flew as a passenger aboard a Washington Dulles to Los Angeles International flight. It was explained by his staff that this was done in order to conserve fuel by not having to fly the usual Boeing 707 Air Force aircraft; however, the 707 followed behind in case of emergency."
Is it just me,or is there something wrong with this?

On the topic of bailouts I thought of what I think is an appropriate analogy.Imagine you didnt have that much money(not to difficult for most people)and you lived in a place like where I live where every day there is a dinner,parlor meeting or Chinese auction raising money for what you believe to be a worthwhile cause,and you give a donation according to what you can barely afford.Later you find out,the money you sacrificed to donate they wasted on frivolous and excessive bullsh*t,something which you would never have done simply because you cannot afford it.Would you not have a strong uncontrollable urge to be violent,possibly even take a fatal course of action? These companies receiving our tax money are doing the same things.I think its normal to want to kill them.I also think we should.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

In my capacity as someone who does what I occasionally do,I often have the opportunity to review blueprints.Recently I saw the blueprints for what will eventually be a finished basement or as its called in Lakewood,the town of newlyweds,a newlywed apartment.What I found odd about this was the fact that it was a three bedroom apartment.Considering the fact that Orthodox society strongly frowns upon premarital sex and teenage pregnancies,I assume most newlyweds are childless.That being the case,what the hell does a newlywed couple need three bedrooms for?

Due to my chronic laziness I will not question whether they can afford it or not.Nor will I try to figure out how or why people are buying things if they cannot afford it,something which I strongly suspect is the chief cause of the economic crisis,like William Cobbett said regarding this"Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety not to be thought poor".

What I do intend to address is this-Keeping up with the Joneses(or whatever the Jewish version of Jones is)Are people so dissatisfied with themselves,they feel the need to impress others by imitating the possessions they purchased to impress you?Are people so shallow?(don't answer that)I don't mean to be crude or offensive,but if the Nazis were to build concentration camps today they would have no trouble filling it,all they need is to convince one person to go and the rest of the town will gladly and mindlessly follow thinking this is the hottest new place to be.Wake up people!The Joneses are the same assholes and morons that you are.Why would you follow them? If you're so unhappy with yourself,suicide is a tried and tested solution,copying other imbeciles will not make you happier.Start thinking for yourself,start living for yourself.If the concept of thinking for yourself is to foreign or difficult for you,there is another idea from Quentin Crisp worth trying,he said "Keeping up with the Joneses was a full time job for my mother and father.It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level."

An Ode to my Sanity

I feel no pain
yet Im going slowly insane
I no longer think
yet Im two steps from the brink
I thought I was immune
from my destiny of ruin
I thought I was comfortably numb
I guess I was just plain dumb
Im being destroyed from the inside-out
by fear apprehension worry and doubt.

Just What We Need-More Labels

Out of sheer boredom (due to my sudden change of plans yesterday),I took the Orthodoxy Test that appears to be the current fad on blogs.I finally realized why I never seemed to fit in,in yeshivas and shuls I attended over the course of my short yet distinguished career as an Orthodox Jew.Turns out,I'm Huh!I'm not sure exactly what religious obligations this entails but at least until somebody thinks to capitalize on this new unspoken for sect of Judaism, there will be no dinners, parlor meetings,or membership dues.I'm actually relieved not to be stuck into one specific category,as there is no one specific category that I believe has all the answers.This is actually something I have prided myself on since I broke out of the mold,society tries to cram all unsuspecting youngsters into.I try learning from individuals I believed to be worthy,regardless of their religious affiliation,whether they promoted full day kollel for everybody or they God forbid said a prayer for the President and Israeli soldiers on shabbos.

Labeling people,is,I think,a large contributing factor in teens,children,and even adults abandoning Judaism.I know the test was only meant as something cute to occupy your time/mind and a potential conversation or blog starter,but what it represents is complete unadulterated evil.Why the hell would somebody,who for whatever reason doesn't fit into any molds or labels that Orthodox society in their ignorance and stupidity created, stay frum?You're not yeshivash,because....,you're not modern because......,on and on until there are no more labels for you to fit into until one day you had enough of being society's outcast and decide F*ck it I'll join a society where I can be valued as a person and not a label.The curious lack of any reference to labels in the Torah can be attributed to the fact that God,when he invented this trip intended it as a religion and not a filing cabinet of labels,but things veered way off course.This is a whole new topic which also bothers me and I will hopefully address it some other time.

While on the website,after my religious affiliation was determined,I took another test (I was still bored).I found out today that I am pretty cool,alas,not outrageously so.Oh well,I'm still relatively young and there is still time to become outrageously cool,should the need ever arise.

Upset With Boston.Again

Rarely,over my long association with the tumor living in my brain have I gotten angry.Some might say its good but the general consensus is that its mentally unhealthy (I guess that would explain a few things about my mental condition).Today that all changed because I am pissed.Well,to be honest,more like upset.If anybody reads this blog and if they recall I was supposed to go to Boston on Monday to begin radiation treatment,but they pushed me off until Thursday.What do you know they did it again.I was already on the way today when my mother called to say the hospital delayed it once again until next week Thursday (for now).

Really it shouldn't bother me so much and it wouldn't,if not for the fact that my life has kind of been on hold for years waiting until I was finished with this shit.To enhance understanding,let me give an example.Dating,every orthodox,single guy (who is not gay)wants to get married.Between losing my vision(one of the fun side effects) surgery,recuperation,deciding on what type of radiation to undergo,appointments,and now waiting to go to Boston,its been a year since I last dated.The same is going on with jobs and courses I want to take.It sucks.That's why its upsetting when it looks like its finally drawing to a close and I will soon be able to move on with my life,only to be delayed once more.

Although not as big a deal but it was also very anti-climatic.I packed everything I need for six weeks,clothing,computer,food,ipod,notebooks, I got myself in the proper frame of mind (dare I even say psyched?).All this,and I was back home an hour later.I don't know the exact definition of anti climatic,but I'm pretty sure this was.I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this (other than the age old problem of having nothing else to write about)but I cant imagine anybody would be uncomfortable or mind as it seems I'm the only person who reads this blog (despite the fact that I already know a lot of what it says here)so if anybody has something to say about this or about anything else for that matter,comment,please(wow pathetic,begging for comments)

Sex-Ed In Beis Yaakov

For some reason Jewish schools have an aversion to preparing its students for the real world.I think that needs to be changed.I understand the difficulty in making too many changes simultaneously so I would like to suggest one change I believe to be of importance,to start with.Sex-Ed.Now before all the "frummies"get uptight and defensive,let me clarify.I am not referring to the'birds and the bees' as I believe most people are already familiar with that.I am referring instead to educating Yeshivah and Beis Yaakov students about interactions with members of the opposite sex.I am aware this is something the powers that be want to avoid for the simple reason that if they know how to interact,they will,something we want to avoid at all costs.Realistically we know there are times interacting cannot be avoided even for the most 'yeshivash'and'frum' is it worth them not knowing how to go about it?

Dating is a strong argument for my idea.People(usually the girls)constantly complain that the person they were set up with were ill equipped to talking to them and lacked the most basic etiquette (okay I admit this is lacking even during interaction with members of their own sex,maybe that will be my next project).Even the most frum boy or girl dates,shouldn't they be prepared?

This brings to mind a girl I used to know.She went to regular Beis Yaakovs and was a fairly frum girl although a little rebellious.Because of her rebellion and also due to the fact that she believed herself to be more with it and cool than she actually was,she occasionally drank and at times hung out with guys.This is always a dangerous combination but especially so for someone not familiar with the opposite sex.Countless times she called me to complain or to pick her up because she let some guy buy her drinks and she flirted and spoke to him for hours all the while him thinking he was going to get lucky tonight and getting pissed when she had enough and got up and left.I would explain to her how the mind of a horny male worked but she never seemed to understand.Countless awkward and mildly dangerous situations could have been avoided if she only would have learned in school that there is only one thing guys want and how to talk to them without them thinking they are going to get it.This is a bit different than the previous example but I think of equal importance.Should one argue and say we discourage flirting so why should we prepare for such scenarios I bring to your attention all the girls who were ever pulled over for speeding,how many tried flirting with the cop in the hopes of being let off easy?If the girls would know what they consider harmless talking may very well be in the cops eyes something entirely different,they might cool it or at least be prepared if he says something they deem inappropriate.

Random Musings

I was reading The Protocols of the Elders of Zion today(Yes of course I own a copy, how else am I going to be familiar with what I'm supposed to do when the time comes) they write in it about the importance of controlling as much of the land and assets as possible.Later while reading the newspaper I couldn't help thinking of this when I read about the Arabs need for yet another country(ours).Have they taken over us Zionists as the New World Order?I don't know if this is news or not but for me it is,it seems after they found natural gas off the Haifa coast now Lebanon woke up and wants a piece.Is this them now going after all assets?

Mushir al-Masri said (I read this in the Yated and therefore cannot vouch for its authenticity as everything written within should be taken with a grain or rather bucket of salt)"Any foreign troops in the Gaza Strip would be regarded as occupation forces"he then continued and with nobody thinking it strange said"But to ensure that the crossings are reopened we want them supervised by international monitors" and nobody thinks this least bit unbalanced?

Obama is the first black president in the history of the US why is that not enough to satisfy his ego?Why does have to do retarded reckless things to ensure his remembrance?

I'm not really depressed right now yet for some reason Im in the mood of posting this poem I wrote a long time ago.Its probably not long enough to be considered a poem and its certainly not that good but nevertheless here it is..........
Is it just me who ever wonders
Isn't God above these blunders
He created everything from a to z
it seems like nothing but misery.
Once I'm taking the blame for this one I may as wall admit I wrote this one which I notice from all the comments was a real winner (real good for my self esteem)

The Chief Justice of the US screwed up a simple 35 word oath,yet when youre in court for a speeding ticket or drug charges or even murder (whatever your particular vice is) to suggest the judge screwed up can land you in jail for contempt,odd.

Heres a short parable I read today in a book about Martial Arts.A zen master out for a walk with one of his students pointed out a fox chasing a rabbit."According to an ancient fable"the master said"the rabbit will get away from the fox""Not so"replied the student"The fox is faster""But the rabbit will elude him"insisted the master"Why are you so certain?" asked the student"Because" answered the master"the fox is running for his dinner and the rabbit is running for his life."This is similar to something Golda Meir once said"We Jews have a secret weapon in our struggle with the Arabs-we have no place to go"

Tumor Update

The hospital called earlier today to tell me my radiation treatment will be delayed.I was supposed to start in the beginning of this coming week but instead it will be at the end of the week.I don't really mind about the scheduling,the problem is the reason its delayed is because the machine broke down last week and they're behind now.The only reason I chose to do this specific type of radiation and hang out away from home for so long in a place where if you read my previous posts you'll know,I don't like much (yet-like I told namelessfaceless I still might fall in love with the place)is because this is supposed to be the most accurate and reliable.For a machine that costs between $100 to 200 million to build you would think it would inspire a little bit more confidence than an old car that stalls at every red light.Yes I'm exaggerating but hey I didn't have anything else to write about and besides to be honest it does kind of freak me out to rely on the accuracy of a machine not to fry my brain or optic nerves etc. that has breakdown issues.The weird thing is,is that despite this and all other issues sane people would be concerned about I am still kind of looking forward to it.Maybe because I see a light at the end of this ten year long tunnel(fat chance?)or maybe as I suspect to be the truth my name would now actually fit me and I have become comfortably numb( okay I cheated,I became comfortably numb long ago).

The Dirty Laundry Show

While waiting yesterday for yet another MRI I couldn't help doing something I usually try to avoid doing.I watched a show of the "tell the world your personal problems" genre.This specific one was one of those court TV shows (She ran away with the kids but he abused her but she wasn't a good wife........)Watching,caused me to think (which is always good)whats the attraction of sharing your personal and intimate life with thousands of strangers?There are many shows of this genre I don't know the names(and if I did I wouldn't admit for fear of being hypocritical)but obviously people watch this sh*t.Why? Maybe peoples lives suck so much,watching some other fools problems makes you feel better,but were still left with the original question are these people not embarrassed or do they even think for a second 'this is nobodies damn business but our own?

The next step my brain took was even more interesting.This problem also exists in the Orthodox Jewish world to some extent.What I cannot figure out is how this coexists with the international Jewish problem solving solution of pushing all problems under the rug?Isn't there some middle ground?There are some personal issues which are nobodies business besides yours,maybe your rabbis,and possibly your therapist's,and that's it.Yet that doesn't stop people,but when it comes to issues that effect the Jewish community as a whole(non-personal problems)i.e.kids going off the derech,the rampant abuse which seems to be going on,the stealing,to name just a few-suddenly it becomes taboo to speak about it.Is it just me or are things a little confused,and it should really be the other way around?

Does God Wear a White Shirt?

Since I posted yesterday about peoples lack of thought causing their actions to have no resemblance at all to what God intended,I think it only fitting to post tonight on a related subject.Clothing.Lately in most Orthodox circles clothing became a bigger indicator of spiritual levels than spiritual levels themselves.People are judged based on the clothes they're wearing.This is stupid and silly,but proof that people no longer think.Because if people actually used their minds for something more important than getting the cheapest rates in everything,they would realize there is no way in hell that this is what God wants.I could go on and on,on this subject as its a pet peeve of mine but I'll save some for future posts.Somebody I know wrote this poem on this concept and I think its more interesting than whatever I'll write even if it may not be a great poem.(Keep in mind it was written a while ago at the time of the conference of imbeciles denying the holocaust)

What does it take
to a good Jew make
there are different points of view
just pick the one that's best for you
some think its settling the land
others think its giving tzedakah with an open hand
some think its davening with a 'bren'
others say its learning no matter where or when
there are those who say being happy is all it takes
but this is nuts and these people are all fakes
whoever heard of serving God with song and dance
all God wants is for you to wear black pants
lying and cheating and feelings that are hurt
don't matter at all if you wear a white shirt
you don't even need to follow the book
God only cares about how you look
now this way sounds pretty easy
even though the logic makes my stomach queasy
still I thought this would be the one I would choose
until something shocking caught my eye in the news
with Ahmadinajad and the KKK they sat
Neturai Karta each with his beard peyos jacket and hat
they talked the talk and looked the look
everyone was astonished the whole world shook
Jews got up and were quick to explain
they're not like us-they're clearly insane
although they each look like a nice frum Jew
they have a warped point of view
now this may sound a little crazy
but this logic is getting pretty hazy
what I don't quite comprehend
is where does this fine line bend
does clothing a good Jew make
or does it a lot more than that take?

Answer to Frum Skeptic

I read FrumSkeptic's post last night(here)since its something that has always bothered me I figured Ill make my own post on the subject.Her main issues as I understood them are whether people do things because that's what God wants or simply because that's what the society they live in requires of them.The second issue is whether someone can continuously sin in one or many matters and still be considered as a believer in God.

People forgot how to think.You hear many stories from 20/30/40 years ago about people searching for the truth,they try different religions until they find the one they believe to be the truth be it Judaism or Buddhism or something else.The point is they searched investigated and most of all thought about it.Today, it seems to be as in style to go on and off the derech as it is to get on and off a bus.But how many people do it for intellectual reasons? Some do it out of laziness,some because of bad experiences with parents,teachers or classmates ,some do it simply to rebel and as is apparent from numerous speeches and articles some do it because of cell phones and i-pods (would somebody please explain that to me).Rarely does someone go off the derech because he thought about it long,hard and deep and decided it doesn't make any sense.The reason this is,is because we were brought up to believe in God the same way.We do what were expected to by society rarely delving into anything deeper than the most superficial level never trying to understand the reason and never wondering if this is what God really wants.The answer to Frum Skeptic's question is no they don't really believe in God,but in the defense of all Jews I beleive that they think they believe in God.
As for the second question I seem to remember being shown a Sharei Teshvah where he says that someone who constantly sins in one area even though hes righteous in all other areas hes considered a sinner.The reason for this is,you can sin once or twice or even many times (different sins) and still blame it on your evil inclination,but if your righteous in all aspects of your life except one in which you constantly sin that cant be excused by your evil inclination because you are by default saying you don't believe this one issue is so important to God.If that is the case,all your good deeds which we know from the same source were not done for God but for your own reasons whatever they may be.(Basically,you're showing you're not doing your good deeds for God because if you were you wouldn't pick and choose the convenient ones)

1st Step Towards Being Radioactive

Stupid people bring out the worst in me.Contact with them can cause me violent urges which are strongly frowned upon by our judicial system.I just want to clarify my previous post,I have nothing against the normal citizens of Boston.In fact everybody I met there over the past two days was very pleasant and nice and Rofeh International has also been especially helpful.Its the liberals I have issues with I don't know if anybody read it or if anybody took offense,either way I just wanted to clear that up.I do still stand firm in my belief that the roads are the most screwed up in the world.

The reason I was in Boston is because I'm going to begin receiving radiation soon,due to a pesky tumor I cant seem to be able to get rid of which God in his infinite wisdom and humor has chosen to bestow upon me.
Before they start there is a few things they need to do.My first appointment was to be fitted for a frame which is connected to the table immobilizing my head thus ensuring vital parts of my brain don't get fried which seems like a good idea to me.

The next appointment was a minor surgery to put little metal balls into my head.From what I understood metal can be seen on x-rays,everyday before treatment they take scans and measure the size and whether it moved using the balls as reference points(it can also be used to prevent my yarmulke from blowing away with the aid of a simple magnet)The surgery was mostly painless though it was weird and uncomfortable.I got a local anesthesia which means I was awake but I didn't feel the pain.What was weird was that it didn't hurt but I was able to feel every time he put in or pulled out the needles,drill or one time this thing which felt vaguely like a pitchfork.Trust me,a very odd sensation.After that I had a CT scan using my classy new headgear and was then able to leave to sit in traffic for six hours on the way home.
When I started this blog I had no intention of using it as a diary but I think its interesting and besides when I sit in the hospital the whole day I don't really come into contact with anything else worth writing about,therefore I will occasionally write more about this barrel of fun over the course of the six week treatment(mostly when I have nothing else to write)Another reason to write about this is for the ease of the eventual writer of my sure to be bestseller-biography.That's me always helping people!

Welcome To Boston;Please Leave Brain at Home

Considering my strong negative feelings about liberals I understandably try to avoid contact with them.Which is why I find it funny to find myself in Boston Mass (more on that in future posts,stay tuned) the most liberal city this side of San Fransisco.
As I have been driving all day and I have an early appointment in the morning I need to go to sleep early and therefore don't have the time to get as into this as it deserves.Theres one thought,though that I need to get off my chest.As I was driving in circles through tunnels and over bridges and back again through what I believe is the most screwed up roadway in the world,I passed a lot of colleges and universities.I realized how ironic it is that the greatest concentration of educational institutes and probably intellect is also the place with the largest concentration of people with the least common sense.It reminds me of a quote I once heard "A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning.

In Memory of R' Dessler

In honor of Rabbi E E Dessler's yahrtzeit(anniversary of his death) tommorrow (or today for those believers in the whole date and time system)I want to post a short teaching from his sefer Michtav MeEliyahu.I dont want to alienate the few readers I have on this blog but please bear with me as I feel I owe him a debt of graditude because after spending most of my life in Yeshivos where they have an aversion to teaching/learning Hashkafa(Jewish Philosphy) most of the little Hashkafa I know is from learning his seforim.
R Dessler explains that everything that happens in this world comes from God.Since people fail to reconize this it often seems as if it happens naturally but the nature is actually God's hiding place so to speak ,his cameflouge.
God hides himself in this world (hester,if you recall from the story of Purim)the job of us Jews is to realize its not nature that is running our lives but God.When we recognize this,he continues,we will not be limited to the laws of nature but rather there will be an oppurtunity for Divine intervention that is above the laws of nature(something,the Chovas HaLevovos explains that is impossible for various reasons if you beleive everything is caused by nature)
I hope that made sense I was trying to keep it as short as possible.Thank you and have a pleasant tommorrow